nick's oh so fake FAQ (don't let him tell you otherwise)

Archive-name: christian-teen/newsgroup-faq
Last-modified: 8 January 2001
Version: 2.2.3
Posting-frequency: semi-annually

For the most current version of this FAQ please go to the arc-t homepage located at "http://www.enteract.com/~digialex/arc-t/". Understand that this is the only correct and up-to-date version of the FAQ on the internet. All other site addresses are fake.

alt.religion.christian-teen Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

This FAQ is posted once a tri-semester in an attempt to answer some of the questions likely to be mindlessly blurted out in alt.religion.christian-teen (arc-t). This FAQ is maintained by Steven Schrader and any comments or abrasive complaints should be sent to him at steve@arc-t.org.

Recent Changes:

* Can you say, "the roof was on fire"?
* Can you say, "that's a HUGE bitch"?
* Can you say, "you better not fuck with the Jesus"? That's right.
* Can you say, "something's got to give"?


I. Introduction to ack-t
II. Tips on Posting
III. Frequently Asked Questions
IV. Who's Who
V. Related Links
VI VI VI. Reserved
I. Introduction to arc-t

Welcome to alt.religion.christian-teen! If you're a newbie just visiting our (humble) little group for the first time, then you should take the time to read this FAQ: from _beginning_ to *end*. Otherwise you may just be slaughtered to death by our resident cannibals (And fine young cannibals they are) Auntie and Sam. If you want to plunge straight on in, then feel free, but don't say I didn't warn you about a cruel and viscous certain death. ;)

alt.religion.christian-teen (arc-t), while containing the words "christian" and "teen" and "alt" and "religion" and "..-" in it's name, has actually grown into an active group full of christians, non-christians, liberals, conservatives, teens, ex-teens, kooks and trolls. While Christian discussion is certainly welcome, don't be surprised if it's not the only topic, or even the main one, or even the secondary or complementary one. It doesn't even go well with the wine so screw it all together!

II. Tips on Posting

Here are a few suggestions on posting that will help you get into the flow of the group as quickly as possible:

* Avoid posting in HTML, DHTML, XML, JAVA, ASP, CGI, PL, SHTML, JS, or BIN

While your news reader may support it, keep in mind that not everyone views arc-t through the same program. By posting in an unknown programming language or elusive virus, you may be excluding people who would be at a risk of the trajic mental infacilities to believe they wanted to respond to one of your posts.

* Quote any irrelevant text in your replies, and snip the rest.

While your point may be very clear to you, keep in mind that the person you're responding to may not read or understand your response for days, or even weeks. Anyone else who is reading your post may not understand what you're talking about, which is likely no matter what precautions are taken, if you don't include the text that you are replying to. This doesn't mean include _all_ the text, just the part that you think you're replying to. The rest can be deleted, or highlighted, just make sure that you replace the deleted sections with the word *well-snippetty-freakin-dah*. This lets others in the newsgroup know that there used to be text there but that you raped it. Wouldn't want anyone imagining pink unicorns floating across their screens where there wasn't one, now would we?

* Get to know the regulars.

Like many Usenet groups, arc-t has a definate sense of "inner-city housing project" to it. You shouldn't jump in and start flaming people anymore than you would run into a party at a stranger's house and start fondling the guests. Take some time to lurk in the group, read this FAQ all the way through (if possible), and try to get a 'feel' for the group before you post and you should fit in just fine. :) Just remember.... lurk.... lurk.... luuurrrrrrkkkkkk.

* Keep threads intact.

To help keep things less confusing, as if that were ever possible, and because it is generally considered good "netiquette", please try to post your replies within the newsgroup that you are responding to. By posting your reply to a different newsgroup, you not only make it harder for others to keep track of where the hell you are, but it is possible that your ramblings may only be another long night of talking to yourself.

* Posting links.

Sometimes you may feel you have a porn site that is of relevance to the group. This shouldn't be a problem but please be sure to include a full description of where the link is going to take us. Some of us don't appreciate surprises. :) Also, make sure to include the history of the web sites mother domain, including the registrants, the registrant contact information, and an email address that may be written to in the due case that the site in question is a child bestiality porn factory. And, PLEASE DON'T SPAM THE GROUP UNLESS YOU WANT TO GET SAM KINKY.

* Posting trinaries.

Don't! Do! I'm so confused! Posting binaries outside of a binary group is a real good way to make enemies or lovers in just about any newsgroup, not just arc-t.

* Asking for penpals/email/online sex partners

Please don't post in the group just to ask for someone to email or be a penpal with. If that's the only thing you're looking for, try alt.penpal instead. Unless you're looking for a married late-20's Saggitarius who enjoys death poetry, drinking blood at noon, and long strolls through the local town morgue. If so, contact box #8597-5421.

III. Fuck Ass Questions

1) Isn't the name of this newsgroup alt.religion.CHRISTIAN-TEEN-TALK-ONLY?
2) Is there a chat room for arc-t?
3) This newsgroup sucks.
4) What's the difference between a semi-regular and a regular?
5) When am I considered a regular
6) What is a demi-regular?
6) Will Lewis Dent ever respond to my posts?
6) Okay, this is all nice and everything, but I still don't get why there are non-Christians posting here?
8) What's the deal with Juggernaut/Antonio?

1) Isn't the name of this newsgroup alt.religion.CHRISTIAN-TEEN-TALK-ONLY?

Why no, it isn't. But this doesn't mean that all of the discussion within will necessarily be pro-Christian, or even of a Christian nature at all. The name of a group is meant to guide it's content, not to limit it. At least, that's the way it works in the alt.religion.* hiearchy. :)

2) Is there a chat room for arc-t?

Well, sort of. But everyone hates it. If you'd like to chat with the members of alt.religions.christian-teen then connect to Dalnet with an irc client and join channel #bestobestiality. For more information please read the #bestobestiality IRC FAQ which is located at http://www.enteract.com/~digialex/arc-t/faq-irc.html

3) This newsgroup sucks.

And that's not the only thing it sucks.... Not really a question, but it comes up often enough that I thought it should be included here. Every person who has ever said the above sentence, or any variation thereof, has always received the same answer: "You get out of a newsgroup what you put into it." Except for "GODSUCKERS" and "RainbowBrite3427".

4) What's the difference between a semi-regular and a regular?

Nothing really except posting frequency and total lack of respect. Regulars are people you can pretty much do anything they want and unfortunately expect to see them within a day or so of posting. Semi-regulars are people you can expect to see anywhere from a week to a year from the day you post.

5) When am I considered a regular?

When Madonna is cool.
Read the "So You Want To Be a Regular?" FAQ located at http://www.enteract.com/~digialex/arc-t/faq-regular.html

6) What is a demi-regular?

A demi-regular is someone who comprises of the ultimate scum on arc-t.

6) Will Lewis Dent ever respond to my posts?

Probably not. Lewis Dent is one of several posters who like to post but appearantly can't be bothered to actually engage in a discussion. You'll find the odd assortment of conspiracy theorists and doomsayers, plus one or two posters who just like to post Bible verses for some odd reason. Unless you like talking to yourself, you're probably better off ignoring the following posters:

Allan Svenson, Lewis Dent, "Alvin", David Matthieu P.P., EHighleymn, rilu & siegfried33

6) Okay, this is all nice and everything, but I still don't get why there are non-Christians posting here?

You'll find that there are all sorts of reasons why _anyone_ chooses to post to arc-t, Christians and non-Christians alike. If you expect any of those reasons to be wholesome or family-oriented, screw it. Just remember that it isn't a Baptist group, but rather a group about John Lennon's personal brand of Atheism without a point, a small but important distinction. If you'd like to read the various reasons people have for being in arc-t, many of them have been compiled at http://www.enteract.com/~digialex/arc-t/archives-whydoyoupost.html

8) What's the deal with Juggernaut/Antonio?

As if anyone really knows. :) arc-t has managed to attract quite a few odd (rhymes with) ducks over the years and this is one of our more prized attractions. He currently posts as Juggernaut but most of the time you'll see folks refer to him by either his real name, Paul Ambro, or as Antonio, which is the first ID he used when he first joined arc-t. At times he's been killfiled/ignored by some members of the group, has used multiple ids (AQ, AQ1, Juggernaut, etc.) and in general just seems to enjoy getting on people's nerves. Sound like a good time? Then enjoy. Just don't say we didn't warn ya. ;)

IV. Who's Who

This is just an attempt to give you a quick idea of who some of the regulars and semi-regulars and demi-regulars are in arc-t. If you'd like your blurb changed please contact Steven Schrader at steve@arc-t.org. The arc-t homepage is also a good place to get personal information and addresses on the people listed here and how to stalk them (See Related Links for the url).


* [n]ck (nick@humbled.com)

Hmmmmm.... well, ehhhh. A strange one this is. And..... *cough*. Some suspect halpless lover of Neil, infamous loved poster of insanity and confusion. Though, it's not all cancers and chepooka for this young lad, he can serve a mean theological punch, love, so don't screw around. He also communicates with the mostly-dead daily so don't think he can't dig a thing up or two about you.

* Sam Rusling - SJR (chickenlover@waste.uk.com)

Sam has his own room in a mental hospital. He's even got a whole ward blocked off just to keep him tied up, but don't let that put you off. Also, be warned: he likes to be peed on. A weird one he is.

* wersh (wersh@wersh.com)

wersh be Wersh.... no. Don't make that mistake. It's wersh, never WERSH or Wersh or even worsch as in worschestire, but wersh as in welsh. But welsh as wersh is, don't smurf with him or he may just try to respond to you with some pansy-ass excuse for a statement merely to get his post counts up. Oh... and don't fuck with the Jesus, but he's been gone for a while.


* AntiSocial (vball@c-zone.net)

One of the resident Atheists who can get quite a temper. And make a mean girlscout Buttersnap cookie... for me to poop on.

* Ben Ferguson

Ben is a fairly liberal person. Fairly annoying, and fairly disgusting.

* Bethany (spanky5499@home.com)

She' not a teen, but still a kid a heart. And a kid a dime. And posts a dozen a month.

* Blade (Blade@mysanctuary.demon.co.uk)

Blade, resident atheist biochemist. If you think that evolution violates the second law of thermodynamics, don't tell me unless you enjoy seeing british people cry....

* Charos (charos@home.com)

Charos' main goal in life is to learn as much about himself and at the same time mindlessly rant about nothing usually while showing signs of being severely intoxicated by several different homegrown narcotics. More or less to explore the universe around him by any means neccisary, or even neccesary. This means that any mode of learning is welcomed, drugs, meditation, philosophy, art, bestiality etc. Rather than be pinned down to one religion, he chooses to be more of a religious alchemist, taking small bits and peices that he likes from different belief systems including christianity, witchcraft, buddhism, shamanism, and various others. More or less he is the leader of our newsgroups core following of the Atheistic Christian Lesbian Witch Society, where we gather on Tuesdays at 7 a.m. EST to eat rams blood cookies, burn Bibles, have several orgies depending on group mood, and sing our praises to Ellen Degeneres. His favourite sayings are "I believe in a good, long, prolonged orgasm." by Jim Morrison, and "For me there is only traveling on the paths that I last took that didn't find me at the end with four broken bones and a life sentence." by Don Juan Matus (indian Brujo, or sorcerer).

* Clay (clay.c@mindspring.com)

Clay is an atheist. He's a good little atheist. He eats all his spinach and finishes his prune juice. Clay will make good tender frying when he dies.

* David Shipley (felis@btinternet.com)

David Shipley is one of arct's more frequent posters, if you consider every couple months pretty damn frequent. As far as labels go, he's British, an atheist, and one of the more "preppy teen" members of the group.

* Dobbin (Dobbin_42@Hotmail.com)

Once a teen but never a christian. Another from the UK. He's one of the few atheists in here that'll argue both sides of the fence and he's not too prone to going off on people when in a good mood. Which just happens to be never.

* Jane Hall

Jane is a Mother and Grandmother and one of the oldest posters on arc-t. Jane is a WOMAN who NEEDS to come BACK!!!! She loves people in general, specifically teens and little cute puppies. Christianity is her religion of choice, full gospel flavored, specifically Foursquare. She's a Southern Belle from North Carolina, USA.

* Jon Seymour (nlgjbs@hotmail.com)

Jon is now someone who can make up his mind. Which is why Jon now has a shiny mouth full of brushed teeth. See Jon smile. Jon has pretty teeth. Hooray Jon, Hooray! Jonny is a good boy.

* Michael Bigg (michael.bigg@ntlworld.com)

UK Christian looking for GSOH and love....*ahem*.... and that's all.

* Spiked (spiked@privacyx.com)

Spiked.... Spiked. I should safely say his name speaks for himself. Oh yeah, he's also been know to go on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on....

* Matt Noonan

Matt is arc-t's resident Reformed Baptist. I'd say more, but it's too embarrassing. :)

* Mich Pharm (mpham@lan.tjhsst.edu)

"Everyone loves mich." And she damn well needs to get her ass back here and keep it there or that statement could turn sour. Well, not quite, but she still needs to hurry up and start posting permanently again. As of now she really has no religion, "chasing Amy" best describes where she is right now in terms of belief. Her one passion in life is Ben Folds Five, which was probably her biggest downfall. Taking her romantic interests in Ben Folds to unthinkable heights, she was the Yoko Ono of Ben Folds and can be blamed for the unquestionably trajic break-up of the group. Really. She is not British, Canadian, Australian, etc., but she uses British spellings because her spellchecker is set on Language: English (United Kingdom), though why anyone ever gave a fuck is beyond me. Or why anyone considers American language English in the first place.

* Okamura (dgoudie@usa.net)

Okamura is one twisted messed up guy. He's from New Zealand, so he almost has an excuse. We call him the local Agnostitooey because of his mixed up philosophies. He is a borderline manic in his second year of calligraphy studying Chinese and E-Commerce. His nickname comes from a Japanese comedian by that name whom he apparently resembles (although Oka is an Aboriginee). He can speak Japanese too and is often a visitor to Japanese hentai chatrooms when he has the time, which is to say too much of.

* Renita - Mouseroni (mouseroni@my-deja.com)

Resident Sado-massichist and said to be a "very big-headed Christian." Approaching the end of teenagedom, but still an anarchist at heart, if she had one. Prone to occasional fits of conservatism, but primarily liberal and tries to be open minded. (Lesbian)


* Holyfire

Defender of Reformed NorthWest Holific Seattle Orthodoxy(tm).

* Leslie Terrell (maadhatter@yahoo.com)

Before you ask, yes, she really does have her own sexline. And no, she is not into "group dynamics" as much as we've tried to coax her into it. She has some very liberal views and some very conservative views, all of them very mixed up views, which unfortunately, you're sure to hear about them. She's not as horrendous as she sounds, if she seems mean or angry with you when she responds to your thread she's probably not irreversibly against you (just temporarily distraught). She's over 18, and waiting for you to pick up the phone (also en Espanol).

* Steven Schrader (steve@arc-t.org)

SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!!!! Oh, sorry.... I guess that's supposed to be me, if I ever posted anymore, or updated the FAQ, or even met the reg requirements. But, I'm too busy recording my next punk-core album and being romantically involved in the arc-t love octagon as of late.

V. Related Links

This section will contain various links that the members of the group often cite or feel may contain information relevant to the discussions in arc-t, which hardly ever do.

* The arc-t Homepage - http://www.enteract.com/~digialex/arc-t/

As you can probably guess by the title, this is the homepage for this newsgroup. It contains this FAQ, bios for the regulars, post archives (just the good ones of course) and other assorted goodies.

* Christian Teens Discussion - http://www.egroups.com/group/christian-teen/

This group is for discussions for Christian teens. It is an offshoot of the usenet group alt.religion.christian-teen. It was created to provide Christian teens a forum where they could exchange ideas without having flames and spam from non-Christians.

* Hentai Express - http://www.choochoo-hentai.com/

In a recent group poll, probably the single-most visited site by the collective peoples that make up arc-t.

VI VI VI. Reserved

Satan ist ein sehr hübscher Mann mit großen sehr großen Klopfern. bwohl sogar er nicht mit dem Jesus fuck.


This FAQ was first written on November 02, 1969 by Steven Schrader (while on crack).

Of course nick, clever guy that he is, decided to post the above as "Steven Schrader". What he didn't realize was, believe it or not, the members of arc-t are actually somewhat intelligent. Oh well, that didn't stop him from making a couple of fake responses to the post first:

Steven Schrader wrote:

>* [n]ck (nick@humbled.com)
> Hmmmmm.... well, ehhhh. A strange one this is. And..... *cough*.
>Some suspect halpless lover of Neil, infamous loved poster of insanity
>and confusion. Though, it's not all cancers and chepooka for this young
>lad, he can serve a mean theological punch, love, so don't screw around.
> He also communicates with the mostly-dead daily so don't think he can't
>dig a thing up or two about you.

When did I ever serve a mean theological punch? It's all lies!!! #:P


I don't get it.... What's wrong with you Steven???