The Harrowing Tale of Mean Angel Bob. Part I

Posted by Leslie F. Terrell ( on October 4, 1999

This is the tale of Mean Angel Bob. Bob is the only angel to technically have 3 names, but for brevity's sake, we'll sometimes call him "Bob" and sometimes use his full title "Mean Angel Bob". Bob was created at the dawn of time with Gabriel and Micheal, and Lucifer, who fell. Bob was the "youngest" of the three of them, and appherently conceived of during one the more...interesting moods of the Father. For Bob had a very nasty disposition.

At first, Bob was only a bit more vicious in his pranks than the others. But it got worse. He began finding small animals on the Earth and pulling off their wings, and he taught the young mortal boys this vile habit.

At the time of the Fall, Bob wanted to go with Lucifer, if only to try more of his sadistic tricks. But Satan would have none of him. There was to be no one in Hell with a nastier disposition than his. And no one meaner, with a keener taste for blood. For you see, Bob had become quite unmanagable at this point.

And so, to protect the earth from Bob, he had to be restricted from going there. And to protect Bob from heaven...he had to be locked up. As hell didn't want him, and most of the angels had to a nasty prank or two to avenge him for, he was put into a golden cage and the far end of the Kingdom.

Because he is their brother, the archangel Micheal oft sends young angels to toss bloody steaks to Bob. "It makes him feel better to have somebody to scare," says Micheal, "and it makes a good hazing exercise. Toughens the young ones up" Upon being questioned however, Micheal admitted that, "Some of them aren't the same when they come back. Bob has sent quite a few to the Psychiatric ward for a month at most." When asked what he had done in response to this, he said, "I pick the ones I haze more carefully now. Send the ones who can't handle bob after a top ranking demon.."

Well, now you know the story of Mean Angel Bob. Remember it well, when you see a star fall. That's what happens when bob gets loose.