Archives/Lists
Masturbation Is...

One of the more common topics in arc-t, most of the regular members have gotten a bit tired of hearing the word "mastubration". So, in an attempt to spice things up a bit, here are some of their favorite alternate phrases to describe this popular pastime. (and kudos to Michael Bigg for getting this one started in the first place).

Flogging the Bishop
Spanking it
Playing the skin flute
Sawing wood
Slapping 'ol Richard
Whacking off
  Antisocial

dealing the five knuckle shuffle
Having a tommy tank
pinching the one eyed snake
popping up to the 5th floor to do some photocopying
shimmering a beauty
stroking the salami
yanking the plank
  Michael Bigg

Having a tug-of-war with cyclops
Making an offering to Onan, the Porcelain god
  Charos

choking the pope
polishing the stick
  Victor Szulc

beating junior
choking the chicken
cleaning the pipes
jerking the chain
letting the fishes swim
pumping out the basement
shooting the glue
  Evan Verduin

The arc-tiquities website is no longer being actively maintained. It is archived here for historical interest.