Christmas in arc-t

On Mommy, on Daddy, on Chucky, on Leslie. On wershy, on llama (1/2), on Charos and Steel Wolf. But do you recall the most famous arc-tian of all? Auntie, the Unicorn Bear, had a very shiny ass. And if you ever saw it, you would even think it's glass. All of the other arc-tians used to laugh and call him names. They never let poor Teddy Bear join in any arc-tian games. Then one foggy Christmas Eve Bobby came to say "Auntie, with your ass so nice, won't you ride my sleigh tonight?" Then how Willie loved him, and they shouted out with glee. Auntie, the Unicorn Bear, you'll go down in history.

*feeling weird* Merry Christmas everybody!!!

Suzi - December 25, 2001

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The Night Before Christmas

Tim's alt.religion.christian-teen Version

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the group
Not a Christian to cook into my idiot soup
All the flame wars had settled, I was feeling quite black
In the hope that a Christian would pop up for attack

Then what to my wondering eyes should appear
But Jerkel in a Chevy, molesting his deer!
"On Saga, on Rewnfloot, on Neil (you spic)
I'm the next son of god, so suck on my small dick!"

They proceeded to do so, I admit with dismay
Justifying that Jesus would want it this way
So the assholes, the liars, the kooks, and the doof
Started up an orgy on the top of my roof!

"Get off, God Soaked Morons!", I screamed with all might
But they just pumped faster, through that cold winter night
Jerkel just laughed, Neil spouted haiku
Then I snapped my fingers, I knew what to do!

I pulled out my machine gun, and giggled with mirth
As I blew who was left off the face of the earth!
I laughed and I cried out, with sardonic spite
"Fuck you all, God Soaked Morons, now to all a good night!"

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