A Gentle Thunder
Hearing God through the Storm
An Unheard Mumble
Hearing God when He mumbles
Once there was a man who dared God to speak.
His name was Saul. He prayed mightily for a month,
trying to get a response. He said...
Burn the bush like you did for Moses, God.
And I will follow
Show yourself to me, and I will follow.
Collapse the walls like you did for Joshua, God.
And I will fight.
Give me some sign, something even vague, just so that it stands out
enough for me to say 'Wow, there is a God!', and I will follow.
Still the waves like you did on Galilee, God.
And I will listen.
Hell, even give me a stinking dream, and I will follow.
And so the man sat by a bush, near a wall, close to the sea
and waited for God to speak.
And Saul prayed, and prayed, and went about his days looking for
some bloody sign, something different, something out of the ordinary,
for some sign of God in the world around him.
And God heard the man, so God answered.
He sent fire, not for a bush, but for a church.
God showed himself to Saul, but in the form of an irate counselor who
told him he was pissed for making him fill out extra paperwork. He showed
himself to Saul in the forms of a number of girls who turned Saul down,
in the forms of an angry Mexican, a guy on the bus who stared at him for
long periods of time, and a pregnant girl his age who gave him the cold
shoulder when all he wanted was a friendship.
He brought down a wall, not of brick, but of sin.
God gave him signs, in the form of Saul sleeping through his chemistry
mid-term, making him have to drop the class, in the form of his CD player
breaking, in the form of two of his guitar pedals breaking (but fixed later),
in the form of a guitar tech seriously fucking his guitar up, and in the
form of a failed Calc test.
He stilled a storm, not of the sea, but of a soul.
God sent Saul dreams, but dreams of his father wanting to kill him, of
playing Quake and blowing monsters into little bits, of women who Saul could
never have, of Saul being alone in deep caverns, and in worlds of ash
and soot. God sent Saul dreams of being alone, being hurt, and being
And God waited for the man to respond.
And he waited...
And he waited...
But because the man was looking at bushes, not hearts;
bricks and not lives, seas and not souls,
he decided that God had done nothing.
And Saul looked at his shitty month, and figured it wasn't as bad as some,
worse than others, and still stinging from the rebuttal from the pregnant
chick (who really was, as he had thought, just using him for a replacement
daddy for her child), he shook his head, and concluded that God must
not have heard him, or maybe God didn't exist, or something. All he knew
is that nothing had happened, and he was very disappointed.
Finally he looked to God and asked, Have you lost your power?
And finally he looked up at the heavens and asked God if he really
existed, one last time.
And God looked at him and said, Have you lost your hearing?
Saul heard crickets. And nothing.
Saul went home to his dorm room, cried, then turned up the music really
fucking loud, to drown out the sound of his heart breaking.
Saul 'I'm an atheist, and I'm okay....' Sabia